My Comforter

Over the past few weeks, I have seen God as my provider and sustainer.  Given this, I spent time reflecting on the aspects about God I have seen.  He is Savior, Friend, and Comforter, among others.

Of these, God has most often been my Comforter, especially as I dealt with my past and struggled with my insecurities.  He would oft remind me that I am valuable to Him and have a purpose in the world.  He would teach me about finding security in myself and my relationship with Him.  No matter how often I would forget, He patiently reminded me that my life is His and He has a great purpose for me. 

This came into focus when I felt so worthless that I contemplated just giving up.  As I struggled through many sleepless nights and lacked ears to hear His voice, He patiently called me back.  When I came close to following through, He held me back and reminded me of His great love manifested in His church.

Here I am, 3 and half years later and He is now far more than a comforter.  He is Lord of my life and my story is not about me.  It is about God who loves us so very much that He would give His own Son to be the ultimate sacrifice.  How awesome and amazing He is! 

If you do not Christ as your Savior, there are many of us who are willing to share the truth of a God who would love you that much.  If you do know Christ as Savior, God is there with you every step of every day.  All you need to do is look to the cross and trust Him to save you.

Invisible No More

Like so many, I have tried to be invisible.  I feared telling others about my past because I don't have the scars that people can physically see.  I carry scars deep within.  In fact, many are still open wounds that have yet to become healed scars.  

I began sharing my story when I reached a point that where my life was at stake.  I reached out for help... And met mixed reactions.  Those who knew nothing about it made light of the situationa and even accused me of doing it for attention.  Fortunately, I met with far more who understood enough to offer their support rather than their judgment.

Regardless of the reactions, I began to feel free.  I no longer had a deep, dark secret.  I had a story worth revealing.  I found that little girl who loved life and people.  I found the creative and happy part of me.  And I began to heal.

I am not invisible, even though the scars are.  I challenge you to tell your story.  Speak it here.  Talk to a few trusted friends or family members.  Shout it from the rooftops if you need to.  Never let anyone diminish the pain you suffer.  You are not invisible.  You are special and wonderful.  You are loved and deserved to be loved with a love that never hurts. 

May God bless you tonight and always.

Vulnerability is strength

Our world teaches to be strong, insisting that any sign of weakness will be the end.  You must be strong, we hear.  You cannot trust anyone but yourself, they teach us.  There is no higher power, no one to save you, but you. 

We buy into the lies.  We put on the mask of strength and independence.  Out in the world, and often in our homes, we cannot and do not trust anyone. 

This path leads us to loneliness and destruction.  For many, it leads to suicidal ideation or other self-destructive choices. 

I was one of those people.  I wore the mask and seemed so strong to everyone... but myself.  And when it mattered most, I could nothing.  I ran into myself and broke through the wall.  I realized just how weak I really was.  And I learned just how strong God is and how he created us to have strength in numbers.  We cannot stand alone forever.

After near devastation, I started putting the mask and allowing my defenses to be broken down.  It hurt and sometimes still hurts.  I struggle with trusting others, but I have learned to be honest with myself and with others.  I will not put on a show anymore, because in the simple of honesty, I have strength, strength to allow God to heal my heart and to allow people to know the real me.

Will you join me?  Will you put down your mask and be honest, even if only in a small way?