Like so many, I have tried to be invisible. I feared telling others about my past because I don't have the scars that people can physically see. I carry scars deep within. In fact, many are still open wounds that have yet to become healed scars.
I began sharing my story when I reached a point that where my life was at stake. I reached out for help... And met mixed reactions. Those who knew nothing about it made light of the situationa and even accused me of doing it for attention. Fortunately, I met with far more who understood enough to offer their support rather than their judgment.
Regardless of the reactions, I began to feel free. I no longer had a deep, dark secret. I had a story worth revealing. I found that little girl who loved life and people. I found the creative and happy part of me. And I began to heal.
I am not invisible, even though the scars are. I challenge you to tell your story. Speak it here. Talk to a few trusted friends or family members. Shout it from the rooftops if you need to. Never let anyone diminish the pain you suffer. You are not invisible. You are special and wonderful. You are loved and deserved to be loved with a love that never hurts.
May God bless you tonight and always.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Inner Beauty
The world glorifies the superficial beauty of a select few young people. In America, this means being size 0 and looking like the supermodels we see on magazines. For American men and boys, we glorify the muscular man who is also the smooth talker. In other cultures, beauty is in having curves or having the rugged workman look.
These standards are nearly impossible for any of us "regular" people to reach in their lifetime. The worse reality is that this superficial beauty is also finite. In a few short years, we will fall well below the standards set by our world and culture.
There is a beauty that is worth far more than anything in the world. Who you are inside, your personality, your love for people, is the most beautiful thing in the world.
As a teen, I knew one person who I envied more than anything. She was the sweetest woman who gave everything to those who needed it. She was never angry. She always had a smile on her face and would lend that listening ear without judgment. This woman was and is the person I wanted to be like.
She was not the picture perfect supermodel. However, she was the person you could count on, the one who knew exactly what to say. She loved and laughed and always lit up the room. It was her inner beauty that caught my attention.
What do you look like inside? Are you a pleasant person to be around, or are you superficial?
These standards are nearly impossible for any of us "regular" people to reach in their lifetime. The worse reality is that this superficial beauty is also finite. In a few short years, we will fall well below the standards set by our world and culture.
There is a beauty that is worth far more than anything in the world. Who you are inside, your personality, your love for people, is the most beautiful thing in the world.
As a teen, I knew one person who I envied more than anything. She was the sweetest woman who gave everything to those who needed it. She was never angry. She always had a smile on her face and would lend that listening ear without judgment. This woman was and is the person I wanted to be like.
She was not the picture perfect supermodel. However, she was the person you could count on, the one who knew exactly what to say. She loved and laughed and always lit up the room. It was her inner beauty that caught my attention.
What do you look like inside? Are you a pleasant person to be around, or are you superficial?
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
The Dream of Innocence
Tonight, I am finding myself a little stuck because I am facing a topic I know little of, innocence. At a very young age, men stole my innocence by violating me in addition to other forms of abuse.
The sad reality is that many children have their innocence stolen from them. So what now? Do we wallow in self-pity and fear the world around us? Do we allow the past to steal our future?
I challenge you to something better, to surviving, thriving, and overcoming the past. Let's make a stand and tell our abusers that they may have stolen our innocence by "educating" us at a young age but they cannot dictate our future. They cannot take our happiness away.
Stand strong, stand proud. Overcome shame and be proud of the fact that you did survive and can overcome anything the world may throw at us.
The sad reality is that many children have their innocence stolen from them. So what now? Do we wallow in self-pity and fear the world around us? Do we allow the past to steal our future?
I challenge you to something better, to surviving, thriving, and overcoming the past. Let's make a stand and tell our abusers that they may have stolen our innocence by "educating" us at a young age but they cannot dictate our future. They cannot take our happiness away.
Stand strong, stand proud. Overcome shame and be proud of the fact that you did survive and can overcome anything the world may throw at us.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Freedom
Today is the Fourth, my first alone. I had two options, feel sorry for myself or thank God that I'm alive. Fortunately, I resisted the former and spent the day being fairly productive. This evening, I reminisced on older days, days with family and days remembering tragedy.
In America, we are blessed, though we rarely acknowledge it. Yes, I suffered abuse at the hands of protectors. However, I also had wonderful opportunities to go to school, meet new people and potentially better myself. Even now, I am living over 1200 miles from my family, pursuing a Master's, and experiencing a new culture.
In many countries, this would not be a possibility, especially for a young female. At 24, I would already be married with several little ones or considered an old maid in many countries. How awesome is it that I can say that I am a valuable person with opportunities to grow and choose my future.
I am also allowed to choose what religion to believe in and able to worship my God freely. Some are not even afforded the privilege of openly or privately worshipping a God. While we still must fight for the privilege to believe what we wish, the constitution affords us this privilege and even calls it a right.
So, today, and everyday, I will choose to thank God for the ability and opportunity to better myself and worship him. I pray that you will thank God for these freedoms. And for those of you who do not live in America and do not have many of these privileges, I pray that God will bless your life and help you to be all you can.
In America, we are blessed, though we rarely acknowledge it. Yes, I suffered abuse at the hands of protectors. However, I also had wonderful opportunities to go to school, meet new people and potentially better myself. Even now, I am living over 1200 miles from my family, pursuing a Master's, and experiencing a new culture.
In many countries, this would not be a possibility, especially for a young female. At 24, I would already be married with several little ones or considered an old maid in many countries. How awesome is it that I can say that I am a valuable person with opportunities to grow and choose my future.
I am also allowed to choose what religion to believe in and able to worship my God freely. Some are not even afforded the privilege of openly or privately worshipping a God. While we still must fight for the privilege to believe what we wish, the constitution affords us this privilege and even calls it a right.
So, today, and everyday, I will choose to thank God for the ability and opportunity to better myself and worship him. I pray that you will thank God for these freedoms. And for those of you who do not live in America and do not have many of these privileges, I pray that God will bless your life and help you to be all you can.
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